Have you noticed since everyone has a camcorder these days no one talks about seeing UFOs like they used to? 

 

A guy walks into his doctor's office.  He has a sausage sticking out of his ear, a waffle stuck under his arm, and bacon lodged in his nose.  He asks worriedly, "Doc, what's wrong with me!"  The doctor replies, "the problem is clear -- you're not eating properly!"

In Hawaii it is illegal to put coins in your ears.
(They must have really had a problem with this.)